And so it begins. With a whimper, and a long slide into good-bye. On my own now for a year while my husband is in Afghanistan. We might survive, we will survive, but this is not going to be a fun year.

Here is what I hate about being a single parent: my kids don't listen, I have to unclog the toilets, there is no one to kill the bugs.

Here is what could be good about being a single parent: I am in charge of everything, we can eat whatever I want, I have the remote and a king-sized bed all to myself. So far, it's not seeming too bad.

Why moms make great employees

As someone who went on the "mommy track" for 10 years and has been back in the swing of things for a while, there are a few things I've observed. Now, not all moms are the same, nor are all women, or all employees for that matter. I'm not saying "hire the mom over everyone else." But I think we working moms have gotten a bad rap. Remember, people, that children grow up and leave, and won't always need the intensive care-giving that they do at the beginning. So this is just my attempt to refute the "mom's aren't committed" attitudes.

1. Mothers are extremely loyal to people who are kind to their children--that goes doubly for employers. Be understanding about sick days to a mom with young kids and she will work harder for you when she returns.
2. Multitasking? We do that in our sleep, honey. Literally. I've often had dreams about something in the back of my mind I have to accomplish the next day. It's as if our brains know sleep-time is needed to remind us of things on our to do list.
3. Moms can say "no" firmly, and mean it. Need a heavy to tell a vendor you're ending a contract? Pick a mom, preferably one with several children. Need to discipline an errant employee? Mom's are very familiar with discipline. We can send someone to time out and still make them feel like we're helping them. 
4. Moms are great listeners. Every office needs a sounding board, and moms know how to play this role. We can reflectively listen and interpret what you're trying to say. We also know how to keep secrets. I mean, how long was it before you figured out the whole Santa thing?
5. Who else will tell you the truth in a kind way? Yes, those pants make you look fat, but the blouse is fabulous! Yes, that vendor has a lower price, but see how shoddy his printing is? No, you shouldn't hire the new guy just because he has the whitest teeth you've ever seen, but you should hire him because he has a killer resume and interviews well.

There are many more examples I could think of, but I'm a mom, and time is precious. I'm sure you can think of many more on your own.

Why do we reward jerks?

I've given this a lot of thought lately. (You'll be happy to know that my work situation has improved tremendously and I no longer have the Devil for a boss. Also I've given up collecting staplers because I actually have stuff to do, now.)

But back to the jerks--why do we put up with them? Why don't we consider bad behavior to be part of the job performance? I often hear, "well, he really knows his stuff." Or, "She's a witch, but she gets things done." My feeling is, so what? Why not reward the people who get things done AND are nice? For some reason we associate nice with weak, but that's not the case at all. It takes a much stronger person to still be nice in the face of abuse AND achieve things. That's the person I want to hire--the one who smiles at the jerk and still turns out great work. Isn't that the person we should reward??

Discuss.

How to get rid of the most horrible boss ever

Wait. That's all. Just wait her out. Oh, I know. It sounds too easy. How could it be that easy? I didn't say it would be quick, but it's a surefire way to get rid of a bad boss.

See, here's the deal that most people don't get: unless the boss owns the company, he has a boss of his own, and she has a boss, and he has a boss, and so on, and so on. And here's the rest of the deal. Someday, at some point, someone with power will come along and look at the job your boss is doing and how your team is performing, and someone will begin to ask questions. Such as, why is the turnover in this division so high? Or why is your output so low? Or even better, why does this manager have 5 EEO complaints against her?

And that's when things get good. Sometimes your bad boss will get fired, or forced to retire. More frequently, he gets promoted to a bigger position at which he will fail spectacularly and everyone will say, "why did we ever hire that guy?" You won't be able to answer that question, but you will certainly smile when asked it.

I have one of those faces

You know. Whenever I meet someone new, they say, "don't I know you from somewhere?" Or "Did we go to highschool together?" Or most commonly, "You remind me of my" sister, cousin, roommate, high school girlfriend, anyone really. I've been compared to Molly Ringwald, Hayley Mills, and Kim Basinger, and Goldie Hawn which I found most flattering. Now, mind you, I look like none of these people. But I look familiar, so people have to place me.

Because I'm familiar, and thus non-threatening, people also tend to unburden themselves. I have heard the most amazing confessions from relative strangers. People also say, "I don't know why I'm telling you this." I do. I have one of those faces, and therefore you trust me.

If I were evil, I could use this power to make money. Blackmail or insider trading, or something. But I'm not, so I just listen. Hi. Nice to meet you. Tell me all your secrets.

Things I don't miss about not working

1. Digging through the couch cushions for change to find enough money to go to McDonald's with my daughter. (We used to share a Happy Meal because we couldn't afford two meals.)
2. The constant mess that I alone was responsible for picking up.
3. Diapers.
4. Having to choose between formula and food. We couldn't always afford both, and formula had to win.
5. That panicky feeling when the car broke down and we had to put the repairs on the credit card.
6. Not talking to grown-ups for days on end.
7. Driving to dance, and soccer, and tae kwon do, and girl scouts, and soccer, and dance, and the library, and swimming. . .oh wait! That hasn't changed.
8. Having peoples' eyes glaze over when they ask "what do you do?" and you answer them.
9. Feeling under appreciated and under paid--again! That hasn't changed.
10. Looking at the budget and realizing there is no money for a family vacation.

Things I miss about not working

1. Naps
2. Walking my kids to school.
3. Lunches with my friends.
4. Shopping when no one else is in the store.
5. Getting the best parking spaces at Target.
6. Oprah.
7. Time to read for pleasure.
8. Really cooking--not just re-heating frozen pasta.
9. Going on field trips.
10. Not having to account for my schedule to anyone.